Where Am I From?

Have you ever noticed that archaeologists, paleontologists, and various other scientists who form conclusions based on what old people left behind guess a lot?  There’s a lot of “We think” and “Based on what we found”…

What if it’s all wrong???

What if hieroglyphs don’t SAY anything?  What if it’s their way of playing tic-tac-toe or something?

What if someone got bored in a United Cavemen against Forced Wheel Labor meeting and started doodling on the cave wall?

I can tell you that in 2000 years if someone finds stuff left behind from me they’re going to think I’m a sangria-drinking whooooore who refuses to grow up based on my Pinterest account.

Going by my Netflix account they’d think I’m convinced the world will end in a zombie-apocalyptic catastrophe brought about by the return of Ancient Aliens.

If they have only my internet search history to go on, I’m totally screwed.

I doodle all over the notebook I have at work.  I’m not saying anything.  I’m drawing a bunch of squares over and over again.

“Oh, yes, do you see the way in which this ancient woman drew the line three times?  We believe this indicated she was a peasant coupled with the belief that she worked three jobs.  See here?  A demand letter from a boss named ‘CHRO of HR’ and here is another demand from a ‘ROMAN’ and another from who we conclude to be a princess based on her name ‘BELLA’.”

No, I was bored.  I drew over the same line three times.  THAT doesn’t indicate I’m a peasant.  Just don’t look at my bank statements.

Anyone remember the Family Guy episode where Peter and Brian are abducted by aliens and Peter and Brian have to piece together who they are after their memories are erased?  It’s awesome.  And they’re all wrong.

It is a huge show of conviction to dedicate your entire life to putting the puzzle of ancient history back together so that we can have some idea of where we came from.  But what if you’re all wrong because you missed one piece of the puzzle?

The other day I saw Roman putting a puzzle together.  He picked up one puzzle piece and, utterly convinced of where it was supposed to go, he pounded the puzzle piece with his fist until it was, in fact, a fit.

But the picture showed a pirate with his eye where his nose should have been.

And, that’s all I’m sayin’.

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