Guilt Share

The name “Geoff” confuses me. I get that it’s pronounced “Jeff” but I still internally say “Gee-Off” every time I see it.

I hate the guilt-share Facebook posts. “Like if you love Jesus”, “Share if you love your kids”… Stupid. Don’t guilt me into doing what you want. According to my inactions on Facebook I’m a wretched person who hates puppies…
I love taking quizzes on Buzzfeed but I don’t understand “Pick a Disney Villain” or “Pick a pet” or “Pick a favorite flower”. Why am I picking? Do I pick what I don’t like, what I do like, what I wish I were? Ugh…

Having almost black hair means that any time I use dry shampoo it has to be tinted so that it doesn’t look like I have cocaine in my hair. It also means I leave a trail of brown everywhere.

Why do my kids act like they’re being water boarded every time I wash their hair in the tub but happily dunk their heads in the water when I ask them not to get their hair wet???

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