Don’t Wake the Day Dreamer

Every once in a while (probably four times a day) I catch myself day dreaming.  {The rest of my day is spent not realizing I’m in a dream-like state in the daytime}.  What do I think of when I’m lost in day dreams?  Funny you should ask:

What if Joan Jett never cracked the music business and had to get a “real” job?  Would she eventually concede to the norms of society and wear cardigans and drive a minivan and volunteer to be the team mom for her kids’ soccer teams?  What would her job be?  Would she work at a bank?  Or would she be exactly as she is now and just not care?  Would she bust up in her kids’ school wearing chains, tats, and feathered hair?  Gosh, I hope so.

What if unicorns were real?  Would they use their horns as a defense mechanism?  Would they try to stab people with it?  That would be a bad dose of reality.

Doc: So, what brings you in to the ER today?  I’m going to assume it’s that gaping hole in your abdomen.

Me: I got stabbed by a unicorn.

Doc: Huh.  I thought unicorns were nice.

Me: Yeah.  Me, too.

Would you gain magical powers if you were stabbed by a unicorn and survived?  That might make it worth the pain…

What if the custom used for naming babies and pets was to allow kids to pick the name?  My little sister would be David Cholesterol.  My son’s name would be Flame.  My niece’s name would be Little Baby.  Our female Lab’s name would be Mr. Farty Pants.

If you notice I’m deep in thought, please interrupt me.  Because chances are, I’m not solving for Global Warming or the world’s energy crisis.  I’m considering a world in which dragons are the main mode of transportation.

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9 Things I Thought of Today

My kids are awesome and it’s all my fault 😉
I need to live at the beach.
Currently there is a man sitting at the playground wearing a very long, white belt that looks to be made of crocodile. I’m concerned.
Sometimes I think maybe I’m an alien sent to Earth as some sort of punishment.
If you are able to complain then you are able to fix it. If you are complaining while you are fixing it I’ll listen. If not, shut yer face. No one wants to hear it.
Every time I see Jamie Foxx I fully expect him to say, “I gotchew”.
It creeps me out to hear someone speak whose voice doesn’t match them. For example, a Fijian man with a lisp and a southern accent or a Chinese man with a British accent. Gotta admit, it throws me a little.
Prevention Magazine: feeding material to hypochondriacs everywhere.

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