Diary of a Day Dreamer

Hi, I’m Erica and I’m a day dreamer. {And in unison I hear, “Hi, Erica”}. Most of my day, since my memory began, has been spent thinking of crazy scenarios that would never happen in real life but I feel that I should be prepared for… you know, just in case. I used to think that the zombie apocalypse was one of those scenarios but now I’m convinced it’ll happen soon, like maybe tomorrow, or Saturday. Although, I really hope it doesn’t start on a weekend. Chances are, I’ve had a glass of wine or two and won’t be able to accurately assess the situation. So maybe Tuesday? {Thank you, TWD. Now I’m prepared for it. I just need a big stick, a crossbow, and a pointless character like Carl to keep me safe.}

Anyway, this “what-if” day-dreaming is really starting to get in the way of my doing great things, like sitting through an entire episode of Ice Road Truckers without zoning out and realizing I have no memory of how that truck got passed the lake with the crack in it. Or finishing my ice cream before it gets all melty.

The problem is it’s AWESOME to contemplate these “what-would-happen-if” situations. I don’t WANNA stop it. Let me explain. Imagine you’re sitting in your kitchen and you wonder (perhaps out loud to your unsuspecting husband), “Hey. What would you do if you were sitting here one morning drinking your whisky coffee and Richard Simmons just walked in? Would you be mad that he just walked in uninvited or would you be like, ‘That’s my wife’s spirit animal, Richard Simmons, in my kitchen. Mi casa es su casa, Ricardo!’ What would you do?” In my mind, I need to be prepared for the day this happens. My husband, on the other hand, just drops his head, shakes it in disbelief, and walks away wondering why he chose me. BECAUSE I’M PREPARED FOR LIFE!

You need another example? Good. I have plenty. What would you do if you were drying your hair with your favorite hair dryer and out of the corner of your eye you notice something in your room. You look over and notice a Yeti in your house walking toward you. (The monster, not the cup. That’s a different “what-if” situation.) Should you be scared? No! He just needs your hair dryer. And my GAWD is that mane of his luxurious. You hesitate a little because you know that all that drying will kill your hair dryer, but hey, it’s a Yeti. So you strike up a deal. A hair dryer for a selfie. He gladly accepts and even gives you a rock-on sign in your pic, which is odd because you didn’t even know he knew about that sign. You post it, it’s validated for authenticity and you become a millionaire. BOOM. Then you hire Mary Kate and Ashley’s manager and become a BILLIONAIRE. All because a Yeti broke into your home to use your hair dryer.

The useful application of this superpower of mine is that I’m literally prepared for ANYTHING. I’m an expert at this now. Along the way I’ve met friends who are just as good at this as I am. Remember my college roommate?

What “what if” scenarios are YOU prepared for?

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