11 Things I Don’t Understand

I don’t understand religions that dictate women not wear pants. Skirts are an invitation so it seems a bit contradictory to me.

Bernie Madoff was sent to prison for taking money from people, promising a return, then paying old investors fake returns with money from new investors. In other news, Social Security and insurance companies deny claims despite claimants having paid into the system for years….

Why is the government allowed to tax income of those paid with tax money? Isn’t that double dipping?

It gives me pause to walk into a women’s restroom and see a pair of feet facing the toilet.

I have a fear of finding a snake in a toilet. Or a shark in a lake, river, or my bath tub.

My 2 favorite snore sounds are “the dog fart” and “the spoon in the garbage disposal”. It’s most enjoyable when the two are combined.

When I walk into the women’s restroom at work and someone already in the stall gets really quiet I want to yell, “I know you’re pooping!”

I want my 6-pack abs back but not so bad that I won’t eat that donut.

Why do people who block intersections refuse to make eye contact with the people they’re blocking? It’s like they think that by not looking at the people they’ve pissed off the angry people don’t exist.

Blue Bell ice cream is the only brand that should exist. Ben & Jerry flavors in Blue Bell ice cream. Mind. Blown.

If you tell me I’m wrong for having a different opinion, you are a hypocrite. If you tell me I’m wrong because I say 5 + 5 = 7, you are correct.

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