Kristen joins me for the inaugural episode to discuss all the domestic activities that I needs to work on. Can I successfully follow directions on Pinterest? No. But I’m pretty, so there’s that. Also, Kristen explains how to properly cook lasagna in a crockpot! Apparently, it IS possible to not burn food in a crockpot?!
If you have a mom friend who needs some help, share! Or if you have a mom friend who needs to feel better about her own abilities, share! Or if you wanna laugh, share! Just SHARE!
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Lies the Internet Tells Us:
- Your made-from-scratch version of that Pinterest find will be beautiful and delicious. Every. Single. Time.
- I can order clothes from Asian discount websites and look super sexy cool for less than $20! As long as my waist is smaller than an average person’s arm. Which is normal, right?
- Working out at home is easy. And your dog won’t hump you while you do crunches. #noexcuses
- Cleaning the house is a breeze with the Pinterest Squeaky-Clean-House Checklist. And it’s totally worth spending 5 hours on with 2 dogs and 2 kids.
- This homemade face mask will eliminate any need for Botox! And it totally won’t make you break out.
- I can make a fortune as a stay-at-home mom with just my laptop!
- Yes, I CAN make that Minecraft cake.
- If I need $$$ I can just create a page to fund me.
- Ombre gray hair looks great on everyone. Especially 14-year-olds.
- A parenting manual exists. Actually, there are many. How many? Count the number of parents on Facebook.
- Kendra Wilkinson is still relevant. Kendra Wilkinson was ever relevant.
- Not airing the Miss Universe pageant would be a gross injustice. We would never get the eternal wisdom of the constants bestowed upon us in broken English that no one can understand. Because translators are for wussies.
- Caitlyn Jenner went off-roading in heels and a dress. What? You don’t?
- Chris Martin and Jennifer Lawrence are a couple we should care about.
- The death of a drunk guy who shot an M-80 off his head is tragic. Not at all the universe’s way of weeding out the “less-fit-for-survival”.
- We can fix our relationship with Facebook! Hold on, let me search for that article that my bestie (you know, the one I met on that cruise 11 years ago and haven’t seen since) posted to her cousin’s wife’s wall…
- Quinoa is delicious. So is kale.
Thanks for never letting me down, Internet. You’re the BEST.