My freshman year at UGA I had the most amazing roommate ever. Someone I’d known since I was in the 5th grade. We saw each other through middle school, high school, cheerleading, revenge pranks… we shared a special bond. So it was fate when we chose to room together.
I knew we made the right choice when a pattern began to emerge during our frequent talks at 3am.
Me: Kate! You still awake?
Me: What would you do if you walked in the room and all you saw were my feet inside the window and the rest of me was hanging out of the window? And then when you looked down you saw I had a bag of oranges in my hand. And you realized I got myself in this predicament all because of a bag of oranges? Would you save me?
Kate: I’d open the window under the pretense of helping but really to see what happens. What if I try to save you and grab your feet but then that pulls me out so I’m hanging by my feet, holding on to your feet and you still have the bag of oranges? Then someone calls the fire department.
Me: Then 3 hot fire fighters show up and we each marry one. One would be left over… that would be sad.
Kate: I’ll take 2.
Me: You’d have to move. But I’d move with you. Just to see how that plays out.
Kate: What would you do if you knocked on my door to borrow a cup of sugar and I answered the door dressed like a fairy princess and my firefighter husbands were both dressed like Peter Pan?
Me: I’d go back home and change into my costume. But I wouldn’t tell you which one. It would be a surprise. Then I’d bust in your abode wearing a police costume and arrest you for being awesome.
Kate: Something smells.
Me: Oh, that’s probably the old bowl of milk sitting on my desk. It started off with me just being too lazy to take care of it but now it’s become an experiment. Don’t touch it.
Kate: I won’t. I have my own experiment involving Chinese food in our fridge.
Me: We should document this. And turn it in to Myth Busters.
Kate: That guy Adam is hot.
Me: I like his hat. Wait, is he the one with the hat? Or is that the other one? They’re both hot.
Kate: Jon Stewart is hot.
Me: Hells yeah he is.
And, thus, the humble beginnings of Tangent Tuesdays…