There are so many moments in my life that I could think back and say, “I wish I did that differently” or “I wish I could redo that”. But, honestly, I wouldn’t change the trajectory of my life for anything in the world. One moment I wish I could redo, that I doubt would result in a different outcome, would be my wedding.
Don’t get me wrong: my wedding was AMAZING. It was all about my husband and me. We were together, celebrating the start of our life as forever partners. But one thing was missing: our daughter.
Both of us had a ‘starter’ marriage. We were coming into this relationship with bills, stuff, my daughter, and a baby on the way, so saving money was key. And we decided early on that the wedding was about the start of our union. It was about us. It wasn’t about putting on a show for a bunch of people we don’t know, a big, expensive dress (I was big enough already), or a huge, ornate cake that would just get pooped out by everyone (yum). So we decided to go to Vegas. Just the two of us. My husband-to-be planned EVERYTHING. It was our first time in Vegas. And he did an amazing job. It was perfect. The Venetian, a helicopter ride with picnic in the Grand Canyon, tickets to Phantom of the Opera, and our wedding was broadcast via a live feed so all of our friends and family could watch online.
My bestie and her hubs met us in Vegas just in time for the ceremony to serve as our witnesses. It was a honeymoon and wedding all in one. It was so rare (and still is) that we have time alone. We needed that time. And we didn’t have the stress of trying to please everyone. It was just for us.
But I wish we could have shared that day with our Bella. Then I would have a complete memory. A complete picture of our little family. As great as it is to not have that stress of a big wedding, we both came away from it wanting to have a bigger celebration “once things calm down”. Of course, more than five and a half years later there’s no end in sight to the crazy. But there’s something to having all of your close friends and family with you as you start your union. As long as everyone breathes, doesn’t act a fool, and fun and love reign.