Lately I’ve felt like my entire life is all over the place. Anyone else out there know the feeling? Everything is great: deadlines are met [yay me], important events are remembered [yay me], dance recitals are successfully prepared for and attended [may or may not have remembered the “nice” camera]. Then it all falls apart and I’m left shell-shocked and crying, rocking back and forth in a corner holding my baby blanket and sucking my thumb wondering if my family will fire me and my boss disown me.
How did it get to this? Everything was going so well! [Weeell, most of it at least]. The chaos always sneaks up on me! I always start off totally together! Eighteen-month day planner pristine and ready to be filled out, lists of important dates, games, practices, husband’s call schedule ready for documentation, all my work projects planned and coordinated, hitting all my milestones and keeping people happy since 1981.
Then one ball drops. [That’s what she said.] Maybe I pick it up. Maybe I didn’t realize I dropped it. Next thing I know, I can’t keep my head above water, I’m letting people down and wondering if anyone would notice if I showed up to work drunk. (Just kidding…(wait, no I’m not. I work in HR)).
Every time this happens, [once a year], the following timeline occurs:
Life is great, leprechauns are riding unicorns over the rainbows of life when ALL OF A SUDDEN…
Apocalypse: Shat hits the fan
Day One Post-Apocalypse: Wallow in self-pity
Day Two Post-Apocalypse: Say “F*ck It”, drink heavily and come to terms with my failure of a life which will be nothing but a disappointment to myself and others so I might as well tattoo my face with cursive profanity and start shooting up Propofal I’ve melted off of stolen patches from the hospital dumpster.
Day Three Post-Apocalypse: Realize that I maaaaay have overreacted and assess the damage, thankful that I didn’t go through with the tattoo or drug use.
Day Four Post-Apocalypse: Remember I’m a badass and put an action plan together to fix my life forever and ever, Amen.
Now, how to fix my life… Here’s what I know: I need an organizational plan.
- Lists are great. Until I forget to put something important on the list. Or until I forget where I put the list.
- Planners and calendars are great until I forget to write an important event down on the correct date. Or I forget where I put the planner.
- Sticky notes… just no. I lose them by the packs.
- Color coordinated excel spreadsheets and Google Doc calendars are fantastic until I forget which color I used for what thing and I can’t decipher my own code… or until I forget where I put my computer… or forget where I saved the file.
Day Four Post-Apocalypse is where shat gets real. It sounds like this: E, do what you need to do to slow down, take a daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, yearly inventory of each bucket of life, however it works. Figure it out. Then, drink wine. Lots and lots of celebratory wine.
What tricks you use to organize your life?