10 Awesome Reasons to Drink Wine

Lol, like we need a reason to drink wine… Anyway, I thought I’d share a few random thoughts I’ve been wrestling with today. Maybe y’all can help me through my issues.

  1. Does Rachel Ray have a speech impediment? Why does she always use half-words? Does it drive anyone else cray when she says “delish” or “nutrish”? It’s so totes obnox.
  2. I want a hammock in my studio at home. Is that weird? My hubs says it is. But I’ve always been weird and he married me so I feel like I’m just giving him more of what he wanted. PLUS, I’m convinced that I would be so much more creative in a hammock. With a fully stocked wine fridge. Hidden in my panic room. Oh, yeah, I also want a panic room. Am I alone in thinking that all of this would be awesome?!
  3. My youngest, my big little man starts kindergarten in less than 2 weeks. Check my blog for lots of alcoholic beverage recipes, coming soon (that’s what she said). I’ll be trying out lots just to stay sane. If you have any good ones, feel free to share. No one likes drinking alone.
  4. Is there crack in Thai food? No, not ass crack. I also think it may be sprinkled in gelato. All of it. Oh, and in Starbucks coffee. Wait, I see a pattern emerging…
  5. Can I start a Go Fund Me page to fund my beach house or is that tacky? I feel like I’m prettier when I’m at the beach. And that benefits everyone.
  6. I read a headline (uh, yes, just the headline) the other day suggesting that salads are bad for you. Since then I’ve decided that I might as well go out in a blaze of deep fried Twinkie glory because it’s all bad for me anyway. Anyone wanna come with? There’s plenty of room on this pretty train of crazy.
  7. Do you ever see those moms who are always dressed like Barbie in unglamorous places? Do you ever wonder if they regret wasting time to get dolled up to watch their husband compete in a mud race? Or wonder if they’re really time travelers who thought the DeLorean would drop them off somewhere else?

{“Wait…………. What?! WHERE ARE MY RAINBOOTS?”}

  1. I watched the movie Sybil as a kid and it creeped me out somethin’ fierce. Now that I’m grown I realize that this movie is really just about the everyday woman.

{“Yesterday I could speak French. Today I can’t even speak English. I don’t even know where my youngest kid is… wait, I have kids?!?”}

  1. How many times a day do you pick up your phone to look up something important only to get distracted by a new text and forget what you initially HAD TO FIND OUT then put your phone down and immediately pick it back up because you remember you were going to look something up but can’t remember what it was? So far today I’m at 3… I think. I can’t remember.
  2. Nope, never mind. I only had 9 things.
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