2016 has been the craziest year since 2011 when I got married, had a baby, and purchased our first home. This year hasn’t been that crazy. I’d say it’s been cray. Not cray-cray. Just cray. Like a wolf in sheep’s clothing (or like Steve Buscemi dressed in a Taylor Swift skirt and crop top), it didn’t start off indicating the whirlwind was a-comin. Quite the opposite. We finally finished a 4-year renovation. Phew! Now we can sit back and enjoy it!
January, February, WHAT???? We relaxed for 3 months. THREE months. As I’ve ranted about before, I came home one day to my hubs telling me he found a realtor! Yay! “E! It’ll be awesome! We can get a house with a basement!” He says. Sounds so simple. Like if Miley Cyrus and Ryan Lochte had a baby. That baby would be “simple”. Only it wasn’t as simple as a Michte baby. At all. It was stressful and complicated and scary! Like if Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton had a baby. Chelsea Handler. That’s their baby. I’ll name those 3 months my Chelsea Handler months.
Now, the next 2 months are a blur. All I know is we sold our house, made 2 offers that weren’t accepted, and 1 that finally was. It felt like a lifetime, waiting til closing. Closing day was INSANE. We closed on both houses in one day. And we moved. On the same day. Closing day. Ugh. Now we can rest! LOL, I’m so silly.
Nope. Three weeks after we moved we went on family vacation. Which isn’t really vacation. It’s just uprooting your life and transplanting it to another location. I mean, it was fun and all. But NOT a proper vacation. Most of it was spent trying to keep the kids from destroying the sea turtle nests. No pressure. Oh, and we came home to packed boxes.
The proper vacation happened 4 weeks later. Yes. Time for rest. Sunday through Thursday of couple-time. Oh, it was lovely. Then back to crazy for August. School started, meaning my tiny little man started kindergarten. WHAT? Nooooooo. It’s bad enough that Bella is in THIRD grade! Dam. “They” tell me that this isn’t optional. Life can’t pause. Yeah, well “They” are pathetic a-holes. I DON’T LIKE IT! (Ooooh, now I know where Roman gets his tantrums from) Ugh.
Little did I know that while I was out living ma life lika fool, tryin to keep a job and 2 kids alive, a storm was a’brewin’. Anyone out there have family members that think they’re the long lost Kardashian? Maybe they are. I mean, it wouldn’t surprise me. Maybe they think they’re famous, only they aren’t, and they get pissed when people don’t treat them as though they’re famous, because they aren’t, then they get pissed and play the victim when you stand your ground and then the overreact by cutting off all of your communication but not before calling you names that even YOU wouldn’t use, among other, worse things… maybe. Just hypothetically speaking.
In summary, this year’s been crazy. I’d be ok if 2017 is super boring. That would be ok with me.