La Bella Bella

Seven years ago today I was blessed with a perfect gift.

sleepy baby

{Being from God and all.}

She was born amid chaos and brokenness.  She was born amid instability and uncertainty.  And she saved me.

When I found out I was going to have a baby, I was over the moon.

{Yes, just like a cow.  Shut up.}

In my eyes, my life was starting.

And then it ended.  But God knew what he was doing.

There I was, on my own with a 10 week old baby Bella.

But I wasn’t scared.


{Yeah, me either, Mom… you gotta plan?  I feel like you need one.}

I somehow knew we’d be ok.  Better than ok.  I was free.  I felt exonerated. And I freed Bella from that life.

baby bella

{Free at last!  Mom, I knew you had a plan.}

I’m in no way a perfect mother.  Unfortunately, I had to do a lot of on-the-job learning.

{So… wanna cheeseburger?  Can 7-month-olds eat a cheeseburger?  How does this work?}

But it’s the job I am by far the most proud of.  Being a mom is my dream job.

{And I get paid in kisses, hugs, and unconditional love.  Eat that, Corporate America.}

If it were up to me, Bella and I would spend all day, every day, every second of every minute together.  I genuinely could never get enough of her.  When I look at her I see a better, improved version of myself.  E 2.0.  Isn’t that what our kids are supposed to be?  Like us, only better?

Bella has been her own person literally from day 1.  She defied all parenting books, milestones, and guidelines.

{“No, ma’am.  I’m sure your baby can’t roll off of my exam table.  She’s 2 month- ahhhhhhh!”  Good catch, doc.  You’re fired.}

She has a drum beat in her head that only she can hear.  And she dances to it beautifully.

dancing queen 2dancing queen 1

She sets her own rules.  She does what SHE thinks is the right thing to do.  She is head strong, stubborn, and leads the way.

{“Mom,  Mrs. Kirshner told me to stop walking on the ice.  But I didn’t so I got in trouble.  I was just trying to break it up so no one else slipped on it.”  Good job, baby.}

She craves approval just as much as any other child but this one doesn’t change a thing if she doesn’t get it.

She’s an individual.

If she has trouble in life, it will only be because there is no mold for her.  If there ever were, she’s already broken it.

She doesn’t think outside the box.  For her the box doesn’t exist.

Her smile is a beacon.  Her raspy, big voice is like a trumpet played by the most talented Jazz player.

She is the best big sister, and she is the BEST daughter.

best big sis

I can’t wait to see what she does to the world.  I know it is already better because she’s in it.

Happy birthday to my funny, beautiful, talented Bella.  To me you will always be my tiny, 6 lbs. of perfect.

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