Ode to my Left Ovary

Dear Left Ovary,

Our relationship started out with such promise.  You showed up when needed, seemed to work well with your teammates, Right Ovary and Uterus, never whined or complained.

However, along the way, something changed.  Your attitude changed. I don’t know… things were “different”.  You became hurtful.

At times I wondered if you even enjoyed being around me.  Maybe I’m just not enough for you anymore.  And that’s fine.  I get it.

But you didn’t have to grow a new friend.  It’s bad enough that you did that once, but TWICE!?  Fool me once, Left Ovary… Fool me once.

Worse than that, you bloated me!  When you mess with a woman’s ability to fit comfortably into skinny jeans, you know the risk.  So now, I’m letting you go.  You’ve been a pain in my side long enough.

A jury of your peers my doctor recommended the death penalty.  And I’m upholding that recommendation.  Enjoy the next 48 hours, Left Ovary.  They will be your last.  Bye, bye you big biatch.

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