If I Were President

Last week I posted a letter to Hillary Clinton. I received a few responses suggesting that I should be president in 2020. I don’t disagree. I’m pretty awesome. But I’m pretty sure that there are lots of reasons why I wouldn’t be the best option. So I guess I’m a shoe in.

But it got me thinking. What would it be like if I really were president. It would go something like this:

I think I’ll run for board of directors at the local rec department. Yay! I won! Fuuuq, I won. Guess I gotta figure this thing out. I’m killin’ it! Uniforms ordered, check! I think I’ll run for something bigger, more important. Like PTA president. Nah, I cuss too much and drink whisky. Ok, so maybe not that. Wouldn’t wanna class up tha joint so much that I make people feel inferior. Go big or go home, right? I’ll run for Commissioner. Of something. Hmmm… which one doesn’t have anyone else running? I’ll take that one. Done!

Somehow I’ve lasted the entire term without getting impeached and ousted. That means I’m amazing. Now I should run for something super important. Like Senator. Hey, Hillary did it. I can totes do anything she can do, but better. But I can’t even get more than 12 people to read my blog on a given day… hmm.

I think you get the idea. If I were to win something like the presidency, it would only be because I’ve Forrest Gumped my way all the way to the top. I mean, I guess it’s possible. But imagine all the gray hair and wrinkles I’d have by the end! No thank you. I have enough of those on my own. Bad news, I still need to figure out what I wanna be when I grow up. Besides Darren Knight’s BFMF (Bella just taught me this. She said it means, “Best Friends Maybe Forever”. Looks like she might have a sight fear of commitment).

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