Strange situations have a way of evolving from innocuous beginnings.
For example, Monday started like any other work day. Sparkle Bottoms called out sick with hives (all of us who have been around long enough know that she prolly just had a fun weekend with her married boyfriend), Junior Gorg was pleasant because she had some say in who gets to keep and office, Ginger Boo Boo showed up (#winningthefirstbattle), and I was thrilled to only have two meetings planned for the day.
At some point before lunch, our mail room guy, Hey Gurl, popped into Abby’s office while I was there and asked where he could find an employee who had mail. Abby told Hey Gurl that the person is no longer with the company but she would open the package and find the rightful owner.
She took possession of the package (that’s what she said) and carefully began removing the contents from the wrapping. Inside… the biggest hunk of milk chocolate I’d ever seen in person. It was in temperature-controlled, insulated packaging so you could feel the slight chill through the box. To maintain a façade of normalcy, I fought off the urge to throw myself across the desk, grab the box, lock myself in my office and devour it.
However, after lunch Abby and I found ourselves back in her office staring at the glorious, massive chunk of chocolate. How do we eat it? (That’s what he said).
“Smack it on the table so it breaks,” says Abby.
I did. Nothing happened.
“Hit it again!”
So I did. Again, nothing happened.
“PUT SOME MUSCLE BEHIND IT!”
Like the obedient servant that I am not, I walked over to a chair and whacked the box across the arm. The box broke in half and a third of the candy bar plopped onto the floor. In shock, Abby and I stared at the delicious chunk of goodness for about fifteen seconds – until I broke the silence. “I feel like I should pick it up.”
“Oh, yeah, you should.”
I lifted it from the floor, pulled off a piece of fuzz, broke off a small piece and shoved it in my mouth. Mmmmm. Then Abby did the same. We agreed that it was, in fact, delicious.
What we decided to do next could prevent my immediate entrance into Heaven upon my departure from this world. Abby and I decided that the best “next step” would be to share with others. So we kept the part that didn’t fall on the floor and we put the rest of it, “the floor sample”, outside her door on a napkin for others to enjoy. And they did.