Comedy Birthday Show with Darren Knight

Two nights ago I took my mom to see Darren Knight (AKA, Southern Momma) for her 21st birthday so she could live my dream of becoming a standup comedian. {Yes, I have a young mom.  We’re from backwoods Mississippi, don’t judge}.
It was just the two of us, which is a treat in and of itself, and the night did NOT disappoint. I even came away with a surprise new girl-crush!

For those of you who don’t know who Darren Knight is, he’s an overnight Facebook comedy sensation who parodies moms from the south and, having a southern momma myself (and being one), I can tell you that his impersonation is spot on. It was an evening full of me elbowing my mom to say, “OH EM GEE, VICKI! It’s like he’s my long lost brother or somethin’!”

If you weren’t raised by a southern mom, you may not realize how “moming” in the south follows a pattern. One I know I’ve picked up along the way.

For example, if you need to talk to your kids, you yell out what you’re gonna say. Sure, you can speak in a normal tone but your kids will ignore you. Then it’ll take a five minute dance of:

Me: Bella, could you please pick your book up off the floor so Georgia doesn’t eat it?

Bella:

Me: BELLA! Did you hear me?

Bella:

Me: CANDY!

Bella: HUH?

Me: OH, SO YOU DO HEAR ME?! I KNOW YOU HEARD ME TELL YOU TO PICK YOUR STUFF UP OFF THE FLOOR! WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO YELL?! DO YOU LIKE IT WHEN I’M CRAZY? NO! NO ONE LIKES ME WHEN I’M CRAZY BUT Y’ALL DON’T LISTEN TO ME WHEN I SPEAK LIKE A NORMAL PERSON! DON’T MAKE ME TELL YOU AGAIN!

Bella: Gosh, mom, you don’t have to yell.

So, instead, and to save us all the pain of living through what you just read, I yell, “BELLA! PICK YOUR SHAT UP OFF THE FLOOR RIGHT NOW OR I TURN OFF THE TV AND THROW AWAY THE REMOTE!” And she picks up her stuff.

Another example:

Clothes. My kids go through clothes like their little bodies are covered in sandpaper. And they love to wear their BEST clothes to play in. Cuz they’re purdy. But then when it’s time for church or a wedding or Thanksgiving dinner or bailin’ Uncle Mikey outta jail for that meth lab again, all their best clothes have holes in them and stains on them and prolly missing a sleeve. So to preemptively solve the problem, I make them take off their “church clothes” as soon as they come in the door. “Putchur play clothes own!” I yell as their sweet little booties walk in the house. Now, of course I have to fish the nice clothes out of the hamper and now they’re all wadded up and wrinkled, but at least I know they aren’t shredded by the rambunctious little honey badgers I call my children.

Darren Knight has observantly captured all of this. And those of us who survived sourthern mommas and those of us who are now southern mommas can all relate beautifully.

The best part of having a southern momma is that she’s always gotchur back. When you’re the child of a southern momma you know that if you’re wronged by someone (even your daddy), your momma will “take care” of the situation, much like Tony Soprano “took care” of his business. Alternatively, if you ain’t actin’ right with the Lord, you know your momma will also “take care” of the situation. Be right with the Lord. That’s all we’re askin’. Mainly that part that says, “Honor thy mother”, AKA do what we say and don’t ask questions.

His standup is different than the videos. If you’re expecting him to stand up on stage and perform an hour of Southern Momma skits, you’ll be disappointed. But if you go in with the expectation of a true stand-up routine, you’ll get lots of laughs.

There were 3 comedians that opened for him. The first one was Gary Cargal. I didn’t really relate to his material. He got a lot of laughs but not many from me. I prefer comedians who have more of a story-telling format and less-obvious punch lines.

The second comedian was a woman who goes by the stage name “Red Squirrel”. Y’all, she’s HILAROUS. I may have laughed more with her than with Darren. She’s little, she’s spunky, and she is crude without you realizing it! She’s my new girl-crush for sure. If you have time to internet stalk anyone today, I highly recommend you waste your time on this chick. The third comedian was Rocky Dale Davis. He’s a young comedian and he’s pretty funny, too. He’s starting to gain traction as a performer so I’d say go see him now.

After the show there was a meet and greet with all of the comedians. Now, y’all need to understand something about my mom. She has this habit of making a bee-line for the door when an event is over. Vicki don’t play. And she walks SUPER FAST. I’m 5’2”. I couldn’t walk fast if I were escaping zombies and into the arms of chocolate wine. So I’m always behind her. She was already out the door and I notice someone smiling at me out of the corner of my eye. Y’ALL, IT WAS RED SQUIRREL!!!!! I geek out, because I’m me, and like a giddy school girl yell out, “OH MY GOD YOU’RE SO FUNNY!” Then I realize I’m being loud and stupid and bring it down a notch to ask, “Can I please get a picture with you?” She was SO nice! So that made my night. As you can see, I was so excited that my hands were shaking. See??

red-squirrelThe selfie will forever commemorate that. #yay. Do y’all geek out over meeting anyone, or is it just me?

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