I’m a hot mess. More than that. I’m a paper bag of mess, set aflame with a fire so strong it can’t be stomped out. I’ve tried to stomp out the flame. My hubs has tried. Oh, has he tried. But, as the Olympic Torch burns and burns, so does my mess. You know those Colorado wildfires that burn up a million acres of land and take a thousand lives? My life starts those.Prime example:
This weekend (Labor Day weekend) we threw 2 parties. We’ve recently moved into a house that was MADE for entertaining. I’ve watched enough House Hunters International to know that even people who move to Kazakhstan without friends or family MUST have a house to entertain. So, why NOT throw 2 parties?! Hey, if a loner ex-pat in Kazakhstan can do it, then so can I!
Saturday morning I woke up and went to the grocery store. Everyone’s coming over around 3. No big deal. This first event was more of an extended play date/cookout so surely I won’t need all THAT much! Costco for burgers and chips, Kroger for other stuff. I get home and my hubs asks, “Is this all you got?” Um… what? What do you mean? I got meat and bread. And the kids have juice boxes. And fruit snacks. Boom. You’re welcome. And I triumphantly frolic my way across the kitchen to the living room like the badass that I am.
Then, at 2:30 it hits me. What if someone wants cheese on their burger? What if someone wants lettuce or tomato or, or, or CHIPS????? Ugh… FML. Guess it’s back to the grocery store I go. And I’m glad I went because, as it turns out, people DON’T want just bread and meat.
Now, you’d THINK I’d learn my lesson for the second gathering. Pregame forethought. But no. This time it was ice. The second “party” was a TRUE party. Alcohol, food, kids running wild… And all I needed to get was ice. Just enough to fill a cooler and a beverage tub. One important thing to point out is that I just a NORMAL size fridge with a normal sized freezer. Just one normal sized fridge. I brought home 2 20 pound bags of ice. And 2 family-sized bags of chips and 2 jars of dip but that’s beside the point. WTF. I quickly realized that I’d run out of room for the ice. And I only used HALF of one of the bags.
Can I not just do what normal people do and write out a list of items I need and buy said items maybe a day before they’re needed? I won’t even go so far as to wish for myself to plan a MENU. That’s totally absurd. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m totally incapable of linear thinking. Most people (like my hubs) think, “I’m having a party. There will be people at my party (hopefully). These people will want food. What food would they want? Will I need anything to accompany the food? What will they eat on? Will they need drinks? Do I need cups?”
Then there’s me: PARTY!!!!!!!!!! We’ll wing it. I’m sure it’ll be fine.
I can’t let it bother me. If I did, I’d never be happy. But, as a person with OCD and perfectionist tendencies, I’m constantly aware of my own shortcomings. So, rather than hide them, I announce them to the world. And all of you get to benefit from it. Laugh with me. You don’t have to admit that you’re just like me. No one has to know. You can even lie to yourself. But where’s the fun in that. Instead, pour yourself a drink and celebrate the eternal flame of our messes on fire for the world to smell.
Anyone have any good drink recipes we can toast with?